June 7, 2013
More Notes To Self
Nobody you meet in Normandy is ever going to understand why you left the Languedoc-Roussillon to move north. Stop trying to explain your motives. It's easier to let them think you're crazy.
Learning to correctly pronounce the word couverts* will save a lot of laughter at your expense.
When a fonctionnaire* asks you to hand over your only copy of an official ID card so they can send it off with your dossier while you wait for its replacement that they say will only take a week or so to receive, refuse.
The one day that you're running late for work is the day you'll get stuck behind a tractor hauling hay. Or cows. Or potatoes.
You are never going to break the code of the French texto.*
You've been in France for 10 years now. Stop being embarrassed when you're standing totally buck naked in front of your gynecologist. He's seen it all before.
At the rate that you're eating all that delicious Normandy salt butter, you won't be able to fit into any of your clothes by September. Maybe you should show some restraint.
Stop acting surprised when a child whom you're meeting for the first time walks right up to you and gives you bisous.*
Make sure you correctly enunciate the the word "shit" the next time you're teaching a French person the expression, "when the shit hits the fan." If you don't, they'll think the expression is, "when the sheet (of paper) hits the fan."
It's not quite the same thing.
Stop thinking you're going to wake up one day and start loving Calvados. Digestifs* just aren't your thing.
Those pesky French words that sound feminine but are actually masculine, and vice-versa, are going to plague you for all eternity. Or as long as you live in France. Learn to accept it and do your best.
Your cheese addiction means that from now on, every time you open your fridge, you will be smacked in the face with the fragrance of fromage. And that's a good thing.
*couverts - flatware
*fonctionnaire - civil servant
*texto - text message
*bisous - a greeting that consists of a kiss on each cheek
*digestif - an after dinner drink
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Notes To Self
Should You Move To France?
Ten Reasons I Love Living in France